I’ve attempted to recall anything before this place. I cannot. Well, that’s not true. Through my dreams, I do remember a few things. But, the memories are weird, simultaneously unrelated to each other, but also intimately connected. There are moments where my dreams are unrelated to my memory too, of course. I can feel that separation deeply after waking up, but trying to reflect on any specific detail is unavailing – it gets clouded, fades away.
Last night I remembered a few things, which I must have jotted down in the middle of the night: a large insect, the word “Reagan” (note that it seems I scribbled out the word “reagan”), and the image of a beautiful girl. I can’t tell if she’s real.
My dream is less important, but I’ll record it for peace of mind. I need that right now. I was in this room. The unused candle atop the center table in reality was, in the dream, fallen, shattered, and half burnt. I reached for the pieces to clean it when the room instantly began to mirror itself. I quickly moved away from the candle but everything stayed mirrored, myself included. I was now right-handed. When I tried to leave the room, suddenly I was falling just past the door. I saw a void, then an apparition of the face of the beautiful girl was all I could see, surrounded by this void. This woke me up. I don’t know where “Reagan” or the large insect came from…must’ve been from earlier dreams I can’t recall now.
Must’ve slept for about an hour after waking from the dream. I woke up again to the sound of the robot before it shared its first message of the day:
Message 1.1:
“Considering the whole may illuminate the parts.”
I’ll come back to this later. I think I’ll go for a run now.
Got back just before the second message was shared. Off to a bad start of keeping track already.
Message 1.1:
“The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one is sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one's love upon other human individuals.”
I am wondering if these are my memories. Does writing my thoughts help, or trap me in them?
XOXO,
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